Sixth Week-A turning point

By the sixth week, the initial shock of being unemployed has completely worn off. You have set your priorities like all the career counselors tell you to do. Once you have a plan, you should know what you are going to do. Funny thing is that the people that are telling you this haven't a clue about what you are going through. This is the week when you hit the "shoals" of your journey. It's this week when all the busy bustling has settled down and you realize that you are in it for the long haul.

Some experience this lull at least once a month as they reassess their plans. This is all good, so the experts say. You need to take that time or end up just desperately taking anything just to survive. Some have had that experience too. The worst thing you can do however is panic like that because you'll regret it later. Believe me.

If you are anything like I am, you would like to know what's next. I have always said that I don't like being kept in the dark, and I have always told my now former employees the same thing. If I knew that something was going to happen that would affect them, I would tell them right away. You are doing nobody any favors by holding information back. I can tell you this that you are not alone.

This week is the time you need to try to connect with someone else that has experienced what you are going through now. This is your turning point. You can either wallow in despair or you can do something about it.

Fifth Week--Busy working and looking for time

Yes, the title is correct. Even though I've been unemployed for five weeks, I've been busy working on a project that will be coming out hopefully in December. I think the most important lesson I've learned this week is that I have to focus on what I love doing. I heard a few people say that you should focus in on what you are good at and not focus on what you love. I'm guessing that could be true. In my profession, you definitely have to find a job that will make you money while you wait to get published.

I also read the discouragement and frustration of some that think that if they pray hard enough that a job will miraculously appear. I can't help feeling sorry for them. No amount of praying will automatically gain you a position, which is not to say that prayer isn't important. It is. God expects us to take action, not sit back and wait for something to happen. So, this is what I'm going to do.

Fourth Week-Settling in to the "New Normal"

One month has gone by. You wonder during this week if you are doing all you can. Many voices tell you that you must network, but they don't hand you the magic formula for doing it. By this week you resigned yourself to the long haul and have gotten what I call an "unemployment pattern" going. For me that means that I start the day at 8 am on the computer checking my e-mail. This usually takes me anywhere from thirty minutes to an hour depending on how many messages I get and if I see an interesting article from an on-line group.

If you are like me, you are by now feeling very intimidated by all the advice that practically tells you that you must pester your friends, family and any other stranger that you might happen to meet on your travels to secure another job. Then on top of this, some say even with this persistent "begging" you will probably end up antagonizing and sabotaging any chance of getting the job you need. It's a sad state of affairs when you literally have to beg for work.

When you are as introverted as I am, then you are completely out of luck as far as getting another job...so it seems. You must not give up hope. You don't have to play the employment games or listen to those well meaning people that tell you that you must expose yourself and/or "friend" yourself with thousands of people that don't know you. As any good counselor will tell you, you have to be true to yourself first. This means for me that even though I will continue to be proactive in my search, I will not succumb to the depression that wants to rear its ugly head.  I will be myself and show myself to the world as the calm confident person I know I am.

Third Week-Depression sets in-waiting time

Third week in seems harder than the other two weeks. I think it's because after you hear all the voices telling you a multitude of different things you get depressed. I don't think it's because the advice isn't any good or that the people telling you are bad. I believe it's because when it's all said and done they really don't understand what you are going through. This is the time when you have to take stock as some say of what you do have in order to combat the depression that is now settling in.

Everyone who has ever been in this situation knows that there is some waiting involved. You wait for someone to notice you and your talents. You wait for employers to get back to you. You wait and try to remain calm and collected as someone you hardly know dissects your life. That's hard. You worry a lot about what they will perceive about you, and sometimes try to be someone you're not.

Second week-Anxiety and Confusion time

The second week is a week for anxiety. You question everything and wonder if you are ever going to be the same again. Everyone tells you something different. They try to help by offering you advice on how to cope, but unless you go through it yourself then you don't know what to say. In some ways this week has been a sort of "wake-up" call for me. I learned that I can't give in to the feelings that swirl around me or hide like I tend to do especially when I'm stressed out.

I realized from my own experiences that I can't put myself in a place where I have no way out. I guess what I'm trying unsuccessfully to say is that everyone needs some stability and a plan to work our way out of our current situation. For some of us this will mean that we have to force ourselves out of our comfort zones even if we don't have any assurance that there will be some stability. This is especially hard for me. I admit that I need the stability of a steady job, a place to go and make a difference and the feeling that I've accomplished something.