Sixty seventh week-Making headway

This week I made a bit of a headway with the job search. I had one interview which I think went okay. I'm not at all positive that I'll get the position. I've decided not to stress out about it. There is really nothing I can do to make it any easier to make my case to those who judge me on my appearance and verbal ability. I do get tired of feeling that I'm saying or doing the wrong thing. So, I stop and study the person before me. What are her needs? I know that she's just as frustrated as I am to find the right "fit" for her organization. I know that I have a lot of stiff competition that I can't hope to beat out for the position. I know my weaknesses and my strengths. I know what I can do and what I can't do. I know my limitations.

Yet I can't seem to make the right connections. I know that there has to be one organization/company that is searching right now for me. I do pray that we make the connection soon. One of my intense pressures right now is seeing my funds dwindle down to nothing and not being able to do anything about it. I need help.

On the other hand, I do see growth in the area that I'm passionate about which is historical research. It is exciting to see the positive response to my efforts on behalf on my community. I do believe that the event that my historical society is holding will have a great impact on the community. That's a good thing. Will I personally see any monetary gain with this? No...probably not...unless someone sees my good work and wants to hire me. It could happen.

Sixty sixth week-Putting it all together while trying to remain sane

I noticed that the past two weeks that I have been putting off writing this blog until the end of the week. I think that is probably a sign that things are starting to improve. I am now in the process of putting all the many facets of my working life together. Yes, I am working. I do have to remind myself and others that I am working even though I am not getting paid. I do spend each morning, either job searching on-line, writing and reading e-mails and reading articles.

I know I am a bit stressed out, but that's due to the fact that I am taking on too much with the three projects I am committed to completing. Two of them will help me in my quest for employment because they will showcase my newly acquired skills of networking, public relations and event planning. The other one I will not be too much involved with...but could also help with acquiring employment. With all three projects I am learning to prioritize, delegate and let go...the letting go is the hardest part. If you like to have control of all aspects of things, it's not easy to trust others to do what you need them to do. You want to do it all yourself. You can't.

You can't for a number of reasons. People will only do what they're capable of doing and have the talent to do. You can't force someone to do what they're not capable of doing. You have to delegate because you want to utilize the talents they do have, and you don't. I am admittedly not good with design and public relations. I assigned that to someone else. I often wish I could assign the sales portion of trying to find employment to someone else as well. Unfortunately I can't do that. I am who I am. No one can represent me as I can.

Sixty fifth week-Trying to answer the 64 thousand dollar question

I have been asking myself why I'm still not employed for many months now. Maybe it's because of this blog. Maybe it's because I put God first in my life instead of second or third. Maybe it's because I'm still so introverted when the job market embraces the extrovert. I don't know. The only things I do know is that I have to stop "banging my head against the wall" in frustration and anger. I've admittedly done a lot of that lately.

I'm also feeling overwhelmed and desperate. Neither one are very good feelings to have especially while searching for a job. There are barriers that now seem impossible for me to break down. One of the biggest is that I've been unemployed now for over a year. That's a huge gap for a potential employer to waive and it's understandable from their point of view that they just don't want to take a chance on me. There is also the fact that I have a very difficult time expressing myself verbally which makes it very hard to convey what I need and what I can offer to a potential employer. I am very good with written communication, and not surprisingly prefer written communication over verbal communication.

So...would anyone want to pay me for this? Again...I'm battling with at least a hundred thousand others who have both great written and verbal communication skills. Will I continue this blog until I can't do it due to lack of funds...maybe...maybe not. My hope and dream is to end this blog with gainful employment.

I do have some good news. One of my fellow "sufferers"....who has been unemployed for over 3 years finally landed a job....just about the time when it seemed he would be left out in the streets and marked as one of the homeless and helpless. I'm praying it doesn't come to that for me.

Sixty fourth week-Busy writing letters and coordinating an event

I have to admit I haven't had time this week to lament my lack of funds. This is probably a good thing. Whenever I look at my dwindling funds I get a sick feeling in my gut. So I stopped looking. Before you jump to conclusions, yes...I have been keeping tabs on my funds. I'm just not dwelling on it now. Instead I'm concentrating on writing letters, praying and making sure I don't drive myself crazy with all the research I'm continuing to do.

Some of the research is due to the fact that I'm coordinating one event and helping out with two other events. I've definitely received and am receiving an education in starting up, running and maintaining a non-profit. You may have guessed already that even though I am currently running this organization, I'm not receiving any funds for it. I don't expect to. Most of the non-profits, especially the historical ones, are run by volunteers like myself.

I had to do something. I do feel like I have accomplished a lot in the past seven months with the new organization. Getting and generating interest is a full time job. This is on top of what I'm already doing in seeking full-time employment. Some days I feel stretched to the limit of my endurance while other days I feel exhilarated by the things I am learning.

I know that the Lord has his hands on me. I feel the support and enthusiasm of the people around me, but I can't as yet translate that into a paying position. It does frustrate me. I know that I would be a good fit for an organization that is willing to take a chance on someone who is willing to work hard for them. I just haven't found that organization.

Sixty third week-Trying not to give in to despair

Yup, it's been another one of those weeks. You often wonder how people survive when money isn't coming in. I'm about to find out. I knew this was coming, yet I decided to ignore it hoping and praying for a job. Now...of course I just have to grit my teeth, pray harder and hope someone will offer me a job in the next week or so. When you get in this type of situation, it really tests your mettle. I could give into despair right now. I know that's what so many want me to do. It's really hard not to, when it seems like you're kicking at a rock and the barriers around you seem insurmountable. Yet it's exactly the time when you need to look up and not down.

Yes, this is yet another pep talk. You have to believe in yourself enough to get out of the introverted shell you seem to be stuck in. Make a list of people you are going to call and/or visit in the next week. Follow through with what you say you're going to do. Don't be afraid to ask for money. You never know who may be willing to give you what you need. I know what my next steps will be. I don't like it, but I really have no choice now. I have to take the desperation job. I can't avoid it any longer.