Trying to Explain Why I'm Still on the Job Market after 3 and half years

I had an uncomfortable conversation today with a perspective employer. I felt cornered and angry. I didn't let it show though. I remained calm as I explained what I've been doing for the past three and half years. I didn't expect for my situation to remain as it has for so long. I never planned to let so much time pass me by while I launched my new venture.

I hoped to be employed. I still do. I want to work. I need to work. No one believes me. Maybe I am being stubborn. Maybe I am just not desperate enough to take any job. If you've been in my shoes, you know how I'm feeling right now.

Some days are worse than others. I do want to be able to say that I got this terrific job and I'll be starting on Monday. I don't. I have had some nibbles though. A ray of hope that this terrible crisis will soon end for me. That I will be secure again.

I am working.

A New Low

It's hard to fathom that I've been out of steady stable work for 3 1/2 years! Some days this hits me worse than others. I have been working as a freelance writer since September 2014. I have gotten to the point that I absolutely hate filling out those online job applications. They make me out to be a deadbeat or worse.

I have reached a new low trying to find work in any field that will take me. I have mainly focused on the customer service arena knowing that some, but not all, allow entry level positions. I don't have a choice now. I have to take any job that comes my way. I can't be picky....even if I have to work in the evening. I do shudder whenever I think about it....but I'm desperate.

I guess I should pat myself on the back for lasting this long. I guess I should be grateful that I have something to keep me occupied. I guess I should stop whining about my situation and do something about it.

I'm begging for work now. Please....someone somewhere has got to have a job for me....something I can do and enjoy doing. Is that too much to ask for? Maybe....:-(

Woe Is Me...What do I do now?

I'm under tremendous pressure now. It's been over 3 years since I've had meaningful, well paying, steady work. Woe is me....I'm not even sure what to do now. The burnt out feeling I've had since late last year is still there...only this time the clock is ticking for me to get back to work. My money is just about gone. I have no real prospects for work. Is this what it feels like to be so low that your next step is homelessness and despair?

Yes...but I'm not going to give in to that. I'm going to find work. I have to. There is no options for me to give in to the despair. I can't do it. I have to believe that I will find that elusive employer who is willing to take a chance with me in the next month or so. I will fight this depression and move forward.