Seventh week-Time of reflection

It doesn't seem that long. You are now in autopilot mode, trying to work on a plan that isn't working. Yet everyone tells you that you have to be someone you're not and put yourself out on display. You balk at this. Yes, I know that desperation is now starting to set in. You want to scream, but hold it in if you can.

I wrote a poem during my last "bout" of unemployment that seems appropriate now.

Here it is:

Unemployment Blues

        

I got the unemployment blues. Feelings of uneasiness and restlessness assail me. I got the unemployment blues. Talk about war and depression overwhelm me. I don't know what to do. I got the unemployment blues. They say its natural and that I'll get over it. I got the unemployment blues. The situation is tense all around me and its not getting better. I got the unemployment blues.

My mind goes around in circles as I run from interview to interview trying each time to find the right fit. Some say its natural to feel this way being pulled in too many directions. Parading before the masses sitting in thousands upon thousands of desks, each laughing smugly at you secure in the knowledge that they have a job, and you don't. Oh, I wish I could stop, but I can't. I need the money. My debt is running high. I got the unemployment blues.

The computer is the way the unemployment office touts while saying in secret that you have to beg companies to hire you for minimum wage. All the jobs are going overseas, and there's nothing you can do. I got the unemployment blues.

I got a big invisible sign around my neck. It marks me as one of the rejected as I struggle to survive. I got the unemployment blues.

I am a good person, but this competition is wearing me out. I feel like I am fighting in quicksand. I know I am not alone in this struggle. Thousands are now on the street thanks to NAFA. They predicted it, but the higher ups wouldn't listen. It wasn't their jobs that would flee south and overseas never to return. I got the unemployment blues.

Still I must go on and not go back to the cocoon of education so many are taking. The cocoon is deceptive and offers promises it can't keep. A job or career you'll love, they tout in their many advertisements. Yet they know as all do, the competition is fierce even then. What guarantee would I have if I did go back? None...I am a good person. I deserve a decent job! Oh, why must I struggle so? I got the unemployment blues.

I got to be thankful I am not out on the street yet. So many of us are though and more arrive each day. The streets are hungry. Their arms open wide to receive their victims both old and young. I can't help thinking about them and feeling depressed at their state. Victims of the greedy always wanting more. Their mansions sicken me when I consider all the homeless scrambling on the street grateful for shelter from the bitter cold. I am thankful for and grateful all that I have, but it saddens me to see the struggle of the poor. I am fearful and frightened that maybe someday soon I will be labeled so. I got the unemployment blues. Why, I ask, should it be this way? How I long for a place of employment that won't let me go through downsizing or layoffs! Its an often told story though of the people that you see on the streets. I got the unemployment blues.

I see no solution to this, no way out of the unemployment blues. So I'll keep plugging, hoping that instead of being on the streets, I'll be happily employed once again. Until then, I'll sing the unemployment blues...

@October 2002