This week has been really tough as I learned so many different things about local history. Some of it is very helpful, but other things are not as helpful. In fact I'm so confused now that I hardly know where to turn. The only analogy that I can make sense of is that there may or may not be a revenue stream here for me to tap. If there is, then that's great. I would be doing what I love to do, which is historical research and providing my community and the surrounding community with a link to their past.
Sorting through the mounds of information though is like swimming in a sea of sharks. You never really know what you're getting yourself into when you take those first steps. I am learning to reach out, just as I have been doing during this lengthy time of unemployment, to those people that can help me out with this. Much like a job search, which is in reality what I'm doing, you have to remain focused on the goals you want to accomplish. That's no easy task. Things pull you away. You get distracted. You get depressed and want to quit. You know you can't do that. There is a need that you are destined to fill. In the meantime, it is rough when there is no money coming in and you're not even sure you can even survive.
That is the question that has been rolling around in my mind for a while. Will I survive this? Right now I can't answer that question. All I do know for sure is that I need to take each day, work as diligently as I can with the resources I do have and pray for the soon coming day that I will be fully employed once again.
What I decided not to do is swallow in self pity. I can't do it to myself or to the people around me. Instead I have to keep reaching out to those avenues, some of which are unconventional, to find meaningful work.
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