I admittedly have been swamped with an issue that came up in my hometown. I haven't actually done any more assessments. I know that I need to get back on track. A family crisis has triggered some actions that I wouldn't have taken earlier. I am being thrust in a role that I'm not very comfortable being in.
Feelings of anger and resentment stalk me. I do feel like I'm being pulled into a black hole. My dreams have been put on hold. Some days I just feel like escaping this dreary trap. Other days when I look into the faces of my loved ones I realize that it is worth it. They now depend on me. I try my best. My best isn't good enough.
These feelings that have come so readily to the surface have caused me to re-assess my situation. Do I really want to go back to school? Can I actually find work I can do? I have been getting out of my comfort zone. I no longer shy away from confrontations even when my stomach feels tight with the strain. I have learned to be bold and assertive.
One of these days I will get back to the written assessments, but not today.
Update: I'm only now starting to get back to what I'm calling a new normal. The family crisis I referred to resulted in the death of a loved one. It is still hard to really focus but I am taking things day by day.
No comments:
Post a Comment