This has not been a very good week for me. I guess it's because it really started sinking in that I'm treading water and going nowhere fast....not literally, but figuratively. Some things in my life are going well. I'm steadily working on the historical society information that I've been receiving. I'm hearing that I'm on the right track as far as that is concerned, yet I'm still stuck in this well. I feel the walls pressing in on me, and sometimes have a hard time catching my breath. Yes, I know this is all normal....so they tell me. Yet I'm feeling really desperate, which is not a good feeling.
I know I have to get out of this mindset. This is easier said than done. Once you reach this "milestone", you do want to quit. Some do. I know quite a few that have thrown up their hands, decided not to do anything and wind up destitute and homeless. I admit that frightens me. I am, however, at the point in this long rough road where I really don't know where to turn for help. Will I fall through the cracks like so many others have done? I know I don't want to....I'm fighting the best I know how to avoid the cliff that looms ahead of me. I have others to think about too....how will they be affected by my fall?
Yet I still have hope. I know that the Lord will provide for my needs. He knows every single one of them. I just have to ask, and not depend on my own resources. I definitely need that reminder when it seems like everything is falling apart around me and I feel lost.
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