The pressure to find something is intense. Bills that have to be paid soon stare me in the face. I never expected to be out of work this long, and still don't know how to combat the depression that is threatening to sap my strength and will to survive. I do feel like giving up, but know I won't. There are too many people depending on me now. I feel bad every time I look into their faces and have to tell them that no one wants me. It's very frustrating too. I have great skills and I'm willing to work hard for the right person. I just don't want to work nights and weekends. Is that being selfish? Maybe it is. Maybe I need to just stop whining and take the first job available whether it be a retail one or not. I know what I have to do, but knowing and doing are two different animals.
It's very hard not to want to dig a hole and hide somewhere...especially when the news now is that there are people hiring. "Pick me! Please pick me!" I feel like screaming....but my words fade away in the darkness. Yes, it is a struggle. Yes, I do need to keep moving forward. I have to....I have no choice.
No comments:
Post a Comment