Sixty first week-In the sea of despair and struggling to get out

Yes, this week has been really tough. Trying to find support now is difficult. Everyone seems to have given up on you. You're staring at a reality that you really don't want to be in. I understand. It's tough when the electronic demons sap your strength leaving you high and dry. You can't look around because it's too painful. Others are suffering far worse, and that drains you even more. You can't help them. You can't even help yourself. Admitting that you're in this sea of despair is the first step out of it.

When I look over my earlier posts, I do notice a pattern of hope. I know I have to hang on to that hope if I'm going to survive this trial and walk through this deep valley. There is still much to be thankful for...a house to call home, Internet access there, food on the table, loving family (even though sometimes they can add to the trial), friends and most importantly a God who loves me. I don't understand how anyone can go it alone, and leave God out of the equation. Yet I see it everywhere...and it makes me wonder if one of the reasons I'm still in this state is my open profession of faith. I won't give that up. It is my life and part of who I am. God made me. It would be utter foolishness to turn my back on him and disobey him. So I'm following the best I can his leading.